The Letter “P”

It has been over a year and I cannot bring myself to delete the number from my phone.  The cellular device number and his name appear on my phone every single day.  Multiple times a day.  “P” seems to be the letter that randomly gets hit on my QWERTY.  Logically, it is because it is the letter that is on the end of my blackberry keyboard.  Each time it pops up I see it as a sign of something I am not willing to think about, and I ignore the logical reasoning.  And every time it pops up I hit the button with the red phone on it to make the name and those numbers disappear as quick as possible.  I won’t delete it.  I won’t look at it.  And today, I realized I will not call it.  I am sure AT&T has assigning the number to another one of their valuable customers.  However, I will not call to find out.  That would make it real.  I am still not ready for it to be real. 

Peace.  But not inner…not yet any way.

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