I often find myself admiring attractive individuals, and lusting. At other times, I see an individual and don’t so much lust as fail to take notice. Then something spectacular happens and the person who was not lusted after becomes beautiful and a bond is formed. This is not only in romantic-type relations, but in everyday relationships with all of those I interact with.
Relationship 1:
I struggle with my employment sometimes. There was a good 4 months where I dreaded going to work for I left each day feeling defeated. Sure, I always had a good story to reminisce about, whether it included cops or threats on my life, but it didn’t seem to be enough. I dreaded seeing people I worked with more often than was required. The past few months have calmed down. The other day one of the girls I work with told me she loved me. I replied that I loved her too, which if you know me at all is very uncharacteristic. I do not say those words hardly ever. As I walked out of the door I began thinking about why I had responded in such a way. It then hit me: I really do love these girls.
Relationship 2:
I have a friend, and the moment we met there was something there. Not romantic at all, for he likes boys and I like girls. But I knew we would click and that I would tell him many things I don’t tell others usually. We formed a bond that I never thought would break . . . .
Relationship 3:
Then there are the friendships that sneak up on you and you find yourself saying “When did we become friends? How did we suddenly have all of these mutual experiences? I know I was there, but did I miss something?” We hang out all of the time, and have a numerous amount of shared activities, but you find yourself feeling like you don’t really know one another. Then you think about the many road trips you have been on. The many late nights talking together. And you then come to realize that this friendship has snuck up on you, but its real. And its amazing. And you do in fact know each other better than you previously thought.
Relationship 4:
Then come the relationships that are not what you expect. You instantly become friends, spending every moment together in a sort of foggy, and almost angelic, blur. You feel that you have so much in common and that it is too good to be true . . . because it is. As the both of you begin to learn of each other, you realize that this is a bad fit. You do not mesh as previously thought, and because you entered this friendship with such recklessness, the slightest thing gives you an excuse to bail. And mostly you do. It was a lustful relationship, like a shiny new toy that has been thrown to the wayside due to the bells and whistles not being shiny or shrill enough to entertain your fancy.
Relationship 5:
There are some things that work out. And they work out well. And the friendships last for years. The closeness goes beyond what you could have ever imagined on your first healthy casual encounter. It is not lustful, it is not demeaning, but it is something beautiful that grows into love and this is what make life worth living. These pure friendships aren’t always perfect, but there is truth in their eyes.
Many of these types of friendships overlap, but not all. It is this mixture that keeps me kicking and smiling each day. Although, when you feel these friendships slipping, it can also be a reason to not want to go forward. A reason to lose motivation. However, there seems to consistently be a friend there to pull you back. And then you smile.
Peace.
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